Your will be done.

Well I am excited to say that I am patiently awaiting a very important outcome....I am praying that if it be God's will that it will just all fall into place but if it not be His Will that all the doors would be slammed shut.

Besides that God has been speaking to me in many different ways. The one I would like touch on tonight is dealing with how do you deal with stress and/or waiting.
It has taken myself many years to get to where I truly do RUN straight to God in any situation. Before I was married I ran usually to my parents or tried to handle whatever the situation with no ones help. Then I got married and my wonderful Michael and I would tend to go to him for comfort and advice with my hurts, stresses and so forth.....But now God has changed me. Just like I cannot do anything about some of the things that come at me neither can Mike or my parents.....Only my great and mighty God.
So I RUN to him. Of course it only took me years to realize this....wish I would have before BUT picking up from here has been exciting.
It is amazing the changes that I see beginning in our family. But the passage I want to write about today is:
Psalm 55
A David Psalm
1-3 Open your ears, God, to my prayer; don't pretend you don't hear me knocking.
Come close and whisper your answer.
I really need you.
I shudder at the mean voice,
quail before the evil eye,
As they pile on the guilt,
stockpile angry slander.

4-8 My insides are turned inside out;
specters of death have me down.
I shake with fear,
I shudder from head to foot.
"Who will give me wings," I ask—
"wings like a dove?"
Get me out of here on dove wings;
I want some peace and quiet.
I want a walk in the country,
I want a cabin in the woods.
I'm desperate for a change
from rage and stormy weather.

9-11 Come down hard, Lord—slit their tongues.
I'm appalled how they've split the city
Into rival gangs
prowling the alleys
Day and night spoiling for a fight,
trash piled in the streets,
Even shopkeepers gouging and cheating
in broad daylight.

12-14 This isn't the neighborhood bully
mocking me—I could take that.
This isn't a foreign devil spitting
invective—I could tune that out.
It's you! We grew up together!
You! My best friend!
Those long hours of leisure as we walked
arm in arm, God a third party to our conversation.

15 Haul my betrayers off alive to hell—let them
experience the horror, let them
feel every desolate detail of a damned life.

16-19 I call to God;
God will help me.
At dusk, dawn, and noon I sigh
deep sighs—he hears, he rescues.
My life is well and whole, secure
in the middle of danger
Even while thousands
are lined up against me.
God hears it all, and from his judge's bench
puts them in their place.
But, set in their ways, they won't change;
they pay him no mind.

20-21 And this, my best friend, betrayed his best friends;
his life betrayed his word.
All my life I've been charmed by his speech,
never dreaming he'd turn on me.
His words, which were music to my ears,
turned to daggers in my heart.

22-23 Pile your troubles on God's shoulders—
he'll carry your load, he'll help you out.
He'll never let good people
topple into ruin.
But you, God, will throw the others
into a muddy bog,
Cut the lifespan of assassins
and traitors in half.

And I trust in you.
A David Psalm, When He Was Captured
by the Philistines in Gath

As you can see he wrote this right before he (David) was captured by the Philistines.
I love how David is calling out God for help. So often times these are the exact words that I have wanted to say to God.
I enjoy the way he ended this passage. Telling us to pile our burdens oh Him because he will carry our burden for us......As you know my family has been going through a lot lately with my dad and his motorcycle crash....then my uncle unexpectedly taking his own life....then me sitting here waiting and saying your will be done as to where you want not only me but also my family.

When I recieved the phone call about my uncle I couldn't help but fall to the ground and just cry endlessly.....then I got mad....and I mean very mad. How could he not have asked us if we were able to him through all of this as opposed to ending his life.....then I calmed down....and started balling uncontrollably for days because I saw the changes he had made in his life and just couldn't believe this was happening. How could this be happening? He loved all of us so much and he was there ALL day from the moment I went into labor until I had her late that night.....he loved us so much.....He was there the last time my dad and I sang "Revelation Song"....it touched him to tears and apparently that became his song because of how the words touched him.
I honestly was so angry and couldn't talk to anyone about it but then at the memorial I realized there is someone I can talk to....I can even yell at him about how I am feeling because HE is always there and will always listen and comfort me.

So that is what I did.....I yelled....I cried....I yelled so more....then I just cried and let my God wrap his arms around me and comfort me and guide me.
Thank God for his comfort and guidance!

Have a wonderful evening and remember RUN TO HIM!